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A Series of Unpleasant Challenges.

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I went to the doctor today as I was literally unable to breathe without gasping with my mouth wide open, which, looks odd but also induces bouts of coughing that make me feel like little pieces of my lungs are flying up my oesophagus and out of my mouth.

I’m sick of being sick.  I didn’t leave with the antibiotics I was hoping for (apparently this is just a virus, a snotty, green, feel-like-death-warmed-up virus), curse my luck.  Antibiotics make me feel cured!  Like, I’m assassinating all the sick things, they bring me a light at the end of my squinty-eyed, sick-mama tunnel.  Obvs the placebo effect alone is worth it in my instance.  But, instead today, I left with a prescription for pseudoephedrine.


Even better than antibiotics!  Now I can be sick, get ALL the things done, without feeling like I need to rest.  What a bloody mummy-miracle.

At least I’m now able to breathe so that’s something.

Back to the GP.  I had a particularly nasty thought and decided to act on it, the lack of antibiotic prescribing hadn’t deterred me from broaching an even pricklier subject. “Melissa”, I thought, “while you’re here, with your Doc as an audience………..why not bring up the really fun topic about those pesky 10+ kgs that have piled on over the past 10 years hmmmmmm?”

You see, I’m sick of being sick but I’m even more sick of being overweight.  A pre-big-fuck-off milestone birthday slipped through the cracks last month, reminding me that next year, I will turn 40.  And 40 needs to be svelte I’m thinking.

So,  a g a i  n …….. no magic pill was prescribed (not that I’m complaining about the legal meth, I mean, I’M WRITING A BLOG so you know that shit is good!), but, Good Doc gave me some suggestions or what I like to call, A Series of Unpleasant Challenges;

  • Get at least 8 hours of sleep.  The fuck?  What even is that and please, let me introduce you to my son Nixon.
  • Zero alcohol for 6 weeks.  I can’t even…….
  • Find a different exercise that I enjoy.  Apparently simply ‘paying for’ a gym membership doesn’t count?
  • Check thyroid – blood test complete!
  • Take zinc to help with immunity – check!
  • Look at further reducing my antidepressant medication citalopram.  Oh boy.  Over the past 6 months I have HALVED my daily dose (Yay me!) and now I have to be brave and think about cutting it out altogether.  Which I will probably do, but very, very slowly as brain zaps are just one of the very real and awful side effect of messing with SSRI meds.

So.  See what I mean about the Unpleasant Challenges?  Total cracker of a day.  But I did write this post so that is definitely worth celebrating………by crawling into bed for 8 hours sleep.