My Boys, Mummy Blogger New Zealand

The Boy/Girl Conundrum

Before finishing off Nixie’s Christmas Shopping yesterday, I was enjoying a bit of downtime getting my nails done and chatting away to the nail tech.  We were {of course} discussing our kids and their Christmas wish lists.  She was so sad to hear that I had two boys and commiserated over this fact for what seemed like forever! I have never found myself lamenting our lack of girl-children, I can’t say I haven’t thought about how nice it would be to have some pigtails to wrangle or some dolly’s to dress-up but what can you do?  We have been so blessed with two amazing boys that I can’t say I feel too unfortunate lol.

She did make a very valid point, one that had already been hovering in my head for a few years;

A son is a son till he takes a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life

This really old fashioned notion is so true for our family.  Though Dave certainly misses his family back home in the states, he barely had to think twice about moving across the world to bring his little family to New Zealand to live – because that is what I wanted.  The same is true of my brother, he and his wife are planning on moving back to the states next year, while I can’t imagine living that far away from my mum ever again!

Both of my kids are super capable and self-confident and fiercely independent.  They will leave.  They will fly the nest and do amazing things.  This I am sure of.  And this is what they should do, and what any mama worth her salt will want for her kids.  But if I’m perfectly honest, it does make me feel a touch sad.  I LOVE all of their very boyish traits and their rough and ready, permanently barefoot and dirty attitude to life.  I love the rugby, the diggers the frogs, the constant eating, the guns and the noise.  I’m just not sure I can imagine life when all of those things are memories and my sons are not as close as I’d like.

What do you guys think?  I realise I’m totally jumping the gun here, but ahhhh, my boy babies, I want them with me forever!




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I live in rural Auckland, New Zealand. Two boys, one big, one not so big and 2 boy dogs belong to me and I them. I love Coca Cola in all of its sugar-less forms and I love you internet. I take way too many pictures of my kids and collect them all here. This is what I am doing when I should be cleaning or cooking or doing other 'useful' things.

14 thoughts on “The Boy/Girl Conundrum”

  1. OMG… I'm right there with you sister about not sure I can deal with life when all these moments are but memories! As you know I have both but I still feel this way. I think even if you DID have a girl, she may be the one with the most wanderlust who wants to live furtherest away whilst your boys may want to be nearby. I think it all totally depends on the personality of your children. I remember feeling so lucky when my daughter was born because I always wanted a girl, however she's the one that challenges me the most and who I can tell is going to be my most trying to parent. Pros and cons! We are blessed and we have what we do. I think it's terrible when people project their opinions on you like that nail technician did. XXX

    1. Glad to know you're with me on this one Ange x We can be old empty-nesters together on the interwebs, what will we blog about though?

  2. Yep I have two boys and love them to bits. I occasionally have longings for ballet slippers and pigtails but by and large am so happy just to have boys. I don't know that it's always true that husbands always go to where their wife wants to live… we have very close friends (he's American and she's Slovakian) who ended up in the US because he missed his family too much. Who knows how your boys will turn out. Perhaps you'll even move to be closer one day? One thing I am quite glad about is not having to deal with girl puberty and hormones! Yay!

  3. As a mum to 3 girls, I always tell mums who comment that they wish they had a daughter to be glad they have sons because they only have to worry about x number of penises whereas I have to worry about literally scores more than that (unless their boys turn out to like boys, in which case that theory is shot)!! I don't know if that old son/daughter saying is true at all, in our family my brother is the one who lives closest geographically to our mum but it's hard to say who she is closest to relationship-wise, she loves us all in equal measure even though I know some of us put her through some challenges!!

  4. As a mum to 2 girls (and not planning on any more) I get comments like "you must try for a boy for your husband, its only fair" which I find a little harsh, as if my husband would trade in his daughters for sons given the choice (he is quite happy with his 2 daughters) and I also think that in this current day gender determines a lot less, for all you know they could be living at home still at 35 😉 and maybe the girlfriend/wife will be living there too.

  5. "Both of my kids are super capable and self-confident and fiercely independent."

    "Fiercely independent" is a word that's been used for me, too. I've flown off. But I'm a… girl 🙂

    1. Indeed Maria – you are the exception to the rule – given that my observation has a very tiny frame of reference lol

  6. I have my 3 girls and they are hugely different from each other. Heaven knows where they'll end up. I didn't so much fly away but am living in a different country to my family and am fine with it. So who knows… I think you never quite know and life is full of surprises…I dont want to bear thinking about my kidlets not being close!

  7. We get this a lot – we have a boy and I am definitely only having one more child. The response to that, of course, is "What if you have another boy?" in which case, well, we'll have two boys! It does make me a little sad at the thought that I may never have that mother/daughter relationship – which I know from experience is quite special – but I hope that as CJ grows older that he doesn't want to run away!

  8. I hear ya – I often think about this. The best thing I can hope and pray for is that they have the sense to choose smart, loving, kind partners who see the value in adding a mum-in-law to the mix. So rather than losing sons I'll be gaining two cool daughters 😉

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