This is why we can no longer be friends on Facebook

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When I was 21 I quit my Masters program, packed up and headed to the states by myself on my OE.  I initially spent three months as an au pair in California before I headed south-east to Florida where I would remain for three years – and meet my future husband for the first time.

I really consider these years in the south to be the most formative, and some of the best in my life so far.  I met so many amazing people, many of whom I consider to be some of my best friends, people with beliefs and backgrounds so fundamentally different to my own that there were certain subjects that could never, ever be broached for fear of our differences coming between our friendship.

One of these people is a lovely guy, ex-military, very far right-conservative {whereas I am an Obama loving liberal!}.  A couple of weeks ago he posted a video on FB showing IS soldiers torturing tiny naked babies, probably murdering them but there is no way I could watch until the end.  I didn’t choose to watch this btw, Facebook’s autoplay feature was enabled so I glimpsed enough to bring me to tears before I was able to hide this obscene footage from my timeline.

I have thought about this every day.  It shreds my heart a little more each time I think of what those sick bastards are doing over there.  I wholeheartedly support the USA in their efforts to obliterate this terrorist threat that is recruiting soldiers from every corner of this world.  I am proud that the New Zealand Prime Minister is committing troops to the war effort – we don’t have military so they can sit around twiddling their thumbs after all!  I am aware.  I watch the news daily, I read the papers daily, I KNOW what those sick f*cks are doing to women, children and other innocent civilians.  My head is not in the sand.

What I do not need, is to see my friends post videos of women being stoned to death and babies being murdered.

No-one in the world should have to bear witness to the murder of another human being.  No-one.

I should not have to witness this via trivial, arbitrary social media.  Reposting footage of someones death, even in times of war is no different to watching a snuff film – except it’s free.  Death is not cheap.  Life is not cheap.  Sharing these videos does not increase peoples ‘awareness’ of the issues, all it does is numb us all , relegating someones life to a measure equal to grumpy cat and ice bucket challenges.

You were almost incensed by my message to you, in which I implored you to stop posting these videos, suggesting I unfriend you.

So I have.  I know you don’t care, that you see me as ‘close-minded’ or whatever.

You’re still my friend, just not on Facebook x



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I live in rural Auckland, New Zealand. Two boys, one big, one not so big and 2 boy dogs belong to me and I them. I love Coca Cola in all of its sugar-less forms and I love you internet. I take way too many pictures of my kids and collect them all here. This is what I am doing when I should be cleaning or cooking or doing other 'useful' things.

9 thoughts on “This is why we can no longer be friends on Facebook”

  1. Yessssssssssss. This also applies to people posting photos and videos of tortured animals. You aren't doing the SPCA, SAFE or any other protection agency any good.

  2. I whole heartedly agree with the message here, but one point which I feel needs strong clarification is that our military does not sit around 'twiddling our thumbs'. Happy to take you on a tour anytime to see some of the amazing work our people (including my husband) do everyday.

    PS. Another question to ponder is why FB feels the need to autoplay anything anyway. Freedom of choice…?

    1. You're right Kelly, that was a silly and off-the-cuff thing to say. What I really meant was our troops are trained for active combat so I'm super proud that they will have the opportunity to serve our country overseas in a war effort as well as in a humanitarian capacity. Certainly no offence intended, though I understand how this must sound. Thank you for making me revisit this!

  3. One of the reasons I don't like FB – I can't edit what other people put up. I love, love, love what you said about human life being precious and I completely agree I do not want to or need to see awful pictures of that kind of stuff. If that was my loved one I wouldn't want that to be broadcast everywhere – it makes me feel physically ill. x

  4. Brilliant post. Absolutely agree with you. Kind of speechless really, you said all that needed to be said. NB/ Off topic I know, but wow your site is looking amazing!!

  5. For the past few months I've been seeing a counsellor. During one of the sessions we talked about the beheading videos IS have been posting – I managed to see one to just short of the actual beheading and it kept re-palying in my head, over and over again, making me anxious and sad and puzzled and angry all at once. When we saw about a fortnight later, she said that she had since had many more people talk to her about the beheadings – it's traumatising to a lot of us. And seeing how strongly it has affected so many people around her, she said she will make an effort to never have to see one of those herself.

  6. That made me feel sick and so so sad… There is so much horrible-ness out there – we really dont need to have it forced upon us. Well said x

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