Dear Chicks with Perfect Lives as you portray them in Your Blogs,

From Mama’s Losin’ It, Ok I did it, I skipped last weeks blog prompts because, well they were boring and didn’t make me want to write anything and so I haven’t really until now.  Inspired by Dave, I am Writing a Letter.  I was blog surfing and looking at a blog I had never visited before, a single mum raising her kids in this amazing house.  Dave noted that all of the blogs I seem to read are written by pretty wealthy chicks with pretty, large houses.  Those who know us know that we don’t live this kind of life.  Life is quite often very hard for us, money is tight, I am frequently overcome with anxiety, worry and stress to the point that my heart beats out of time and I feel like I am going to explode.

Dear Chicks with Perfect Lives as you portray them in Your Blogs,

It is so nice to look at your ‘messy house pictures’, your bad day pictures  – I think this is your attempt at letting people know that under the acrylic nails and the perfect hair your are still human, but you only open this tiny window into your life.  That’s cool, that’s what blogs are for, you can decide how much or how little to disclose.  But what is really going on with you?  There is a reason why this morning you just didn’t give a shit and decided that instead of cleaning your kitchen it would just feel better to take a picture of it and hopefully garner some sympathy from other procrastinating mama’s out there.  What happened?  Was it that huge bill that just arrived?  Are you going to have to rape your meager savings to pay your mortgage this month?  Are your kids growing so fast that you can’t afford any new clothes this winter because you’re constantly shopping for your babies.  There was a reason why you didn’t load your fancy dishwasher this morning.  Lets hear it!

Why does no-one ever write about what’s really going on?  Are your lives really this golden?  Are there really that many people blogging out there with no financial concerns, no homesick husbands who want to visit their family ‘but too bad we can’t afford it”, no-one with friends coming to stay for 27 days and you’re worrying about how you are going to be able to entertain them and show them around NZ on a shoestring budget that is apt to break with the slightest amount of pressure?

Hello, my name is Melissa and we live on a budget.  We buy store brand groceries;


We turn all of our appliances off at the wall after we are done using them, and still I am scared every time we get a power bill, we cook everything from scratch there is NEVER a pack off cookies in our house because it is cheaper to make them, we eat every scrap of left-overs we have and keep our grocery bills under $140NZD per week.  All of this and still gas keeps going up, the cost of power keeps going up, food prices rise and you know what?  I want to have another baby but I am too scared that we can’t afford it.  This is our real life.  We are living in a recession, are you?

We are also lucky, we have an amazing son, our marriage is fantastic and we make the most of every minute that we have together as a family.  These are precious these days as Dave is working two jobs, but really, what a blessing that he has two jobs as so many New Zealanders can’t get one job in this climate of redundancies and unemployment.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t envy your good fortune or your hard work that has paid for your beautiful houses, you deserve every blessing that you receive.  But what’s really going on?  That’s all I’m saying.  Why don’t you blog about the real hardships you face, the things that turn your stomach into knots?  Because we all know that the world ain’t just rainbows and unicorns that poop cinnamon buns.

I hope your manicure tomorrow is all that you hoped for,

Love Melissa



11 thoughts on “Dear Chicks with Perfect Lives as you portray them in Your Blogs,”

  1. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I am very careful about what I write on my blog, but it is about my real life (albeit, without a lot of mention of work, because I really want to keep my job). Maybe there is a plethora of bloggers living fairy tales…but I'm guessing everyone goes through the same crap.

  2. Yea Melissa!

    I like your letter.
    I know who you were writing to!

    Thanks for the visit to my corner of the blog universe.
    I'll definitely have to stop back by!!!

  3. I was visiting from Mama Kat's and I have to admit that I LOVE this letter.
    I also see a lot of "Perfect" people in blogs, and while I love to read them it kind of makes me sad because I am not nor will I ever be that way.

    I also feel a little sad because everyone seems to have funny, interesting and amazing things happen everyday and well that just doesn't happen for me.

  4. This was great. It had to be said, didn't it!?! I don't know where I fall on the spectrum of mylifesucks —————-> I'mgloriouslyperfect. I usually don't stick with blogs too long if I feel like they are constantly talking about their wonderful husbands and their wonderful babies blah blah blah. We know our families are wonderful, but there's a lot of crap that comes along with that. I think that's what I look to relate to.

    A friend of mine has a new blog up and she just had a baby and guess what!?! The baby is perfect, she doesn't mind the lack of sleep, everything is great, labor was a breeze, life is just peachy. And I'm not buying it. Even the best babies are tough to transition to. The only thing I can think is that a lot of her aunts and uncles and family members read her blog for updates. Maybe she doesn't want them to know about how she really feels? So that's what I think when I read those kinds of blogs…that maybe those people aren't looking to relate and connect with anyone…maybe they're just putting updates on their blog for to appease their judgmental family members. I don't know.

  5. I have got to say that I am so surprised at the positive response to this post. It sounds quite bitter and bitchy, but it was more like a sigh of redundency that transformed itself into a blog post after a couple of wines ; )

  6. I thought my life was perfect, then my 14 year was kicked out of school for smoking drugs with 2 other boys.
    Now we know he’s still our son and we love him, but there’s a hole in our lives for now; all the advice and talk and love we’ve given him, means nothing when weed is being handed out like lollies, and swapped for pies at school. When teachers hear rumours but do nothing about telling parents, so we could act, it’s a sad time. I just keep looking at my son, I don’t understand him, he said he was bored and it was fun.

  7. “the world ain’t just rainbows and unicorns that poop cinnamon buns”

    Oh. Hell. Yes.

    I love blogging about the happy days, photographing the sunshine and the smiles – but that’s not all there is. I’m so glad you sent me this link. I’d much rather read about real life!

  8. Good post,I reckon that depending on your audience you might write blogs about how lovely your life is, or if you are a bit insecure you wouldn’t want the whole world knowing how shit you feel sometimes, about that hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realised you didn’t pay the phone bill and now they want to cut you off unless you pay within 2 days or your son comes home from school with one of his shoes held together with Sellotape and you can’t afford a new pair for another week or the car suddenly won’t start and you have to spend $300 on a battery (both our cars did that within a week). It takes strength to admit to the world that not everything is coming up roses all the time. It helps your own sanity to sometimes say everything is fine when it isn’t, a kind of affirmation maybe. So many of your points rang true with my own situation but I don’t feel strong enough to share that with the world. Keep it up 🙂

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