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Mum-Life: A conversation between friends

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Our touch rugby season kicked off on Thursday night, which is great, we love our module.  It’s social, fun and a great chance to spend time with our friends each week and have a run around together.  Preparation for touch has been somewhat lacking this season, I’m not particularly fit and winter has not been overly kind.  As I was squeezing into some tights on Thursday, getting ready to walk up to the fields I sent one of my girlfriends this text;

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Ok so let’s ignore the fabulous body-positivity message here, and monitor the irony of my profile pic.  I don’t even know how that got on my phone, I’m pretty sure I didn’t choose a pink doughnut as my avatar so obviously, the stars are perfectly aligned and the universe is sending me subliminal messages regarding carb-consumption – all.  day.  long.

Yesterday I was determined to attack my waistline so after running some errands with the boys I headed out for some fresh air, planning on an hour of fat-burning-walking.  About 30 minutes in, I came upon a friend who was chatting with her ‘pool guy’ in her driveway – sooooo Wisteria Lane, god I love where I live lol.

Anyway, we were making small talk, running through the mum-life state-of-play as the school holidays near their end.  As our convo progressed I had to literally, laugh out loud, only two mums (in their active wear no less) could discuss the variety of subjects we broached, entirely seriously and appreciate that they all happened within the prior 12 hours.

The hot topics de jour were as follows;

  • “What have I done this morning?  Been to the doctors to get warts frozen off one of the kids.  Why are they so gross?  Not warts, kids.  Why are kids so gross?”
  • “Why aren’t you at work?”
    “One of the kids has a rash, all over his junk.  We think it’s from rolling all over the rugby field last night”
    “Yeah, that’ll do it”
    “At least he’s put some shorts on today, might keep him from constantly itching himself.  God kids are gross”
    “Kids are really gross.”
  • “You know what else is gross?  Dogs.  I’ve just picked up all the bombs in the yard.”
    “I have to do that too.  It’s supposed to be Ethan’s job but I just can’t stand it when he leaves 90% of the poo on the grass and you think you’re safe, but next minute, there’s dog shit squishing between your toes.”
    “Dogs suck.  My dogs got stuck together this morning”
    “With glue?  Did the kids leave glue out?  Mine would do that, Mister Maker has a LOT to answer for.”
    “No, our girl’s on heat and the old boy had a go and they couldn’t separate”
    “Oh.  My.  God.”
    “I threw food at them thinking they’d both be so pumped to eat they’d pull apart.  Didn’t work”
     “Oh.  My.  God.”
    “Yeah.  So I went inside to Google how to separate them, turns out you throw water on them, but he’d shrunk down by then so problem solved.”
    “Phew, really dodged a bullet there”
  • “Do you know what I think the very worst part of school holidays is?”
    “No school?”
    “Huts.  Fucking huts everywhere.  My house was spotless this morning, now the linen cupboard is empty and it looks like a third world army is battling for territory in my living room.”
    “Not a fan of huts either”
  • “Ok then, better get back to this fitness thing I’ve got going on”
    “I’ll text you later about beer”
    “Shit I can’t.  I dropped and smashed my phone.  Something else I’m in trouble over, I also just curbed two of my mags right in front of hubby”
    “Oooooohhh.  Sucks to be you.  Do you still have a landline?”

Mum-life is the BEST THING EVER when you know some cool chicks to share it with.