Some days it’s hard to be a Mummy & other days you were right all along

I started writing a post on Sunday night after a very ‘ordinary’ day.  Don’t judge – this is life people, this is really how I felt, I am a great mother, a fabulous mother even but on Sunday I felt ordinary, acted ordinary and was definitely an ordinary mother;

Monday is so close now that I can almost feel the barrage of ‘hurry’, ‘don’t forget….’, ‘pack this’, get out of the house and don’t return for eight long hours. I do not like this feeling. Today has been a black day.
When I struggle with Dave being away for so long, I feel like a failure, the one-child mummy that couldn’t. As if having an only child doesn’t come with allowances for bad days. Everything is easy with just one right?
I’m not busier with Dave away, I do all the Ethan toting anyway, I’m not doing more chores really, I am cooking more eggs than normal but I can handle that, I’m not lonely – I have my Mum here so adult conversation is never far away. What I am is totally wiped from the massive emotional and attention requirement that Ethan now demands from just one person. That would be me.
I just wanted to run away {from him} screaming today. Far far away and screaming so I couldn’t hear MAMA? for the millionth time in an hour. Here comes the mummy guilt again. E has quite massive OCD tendencies and these manifested all damn day today. One thing after another, beginning with googling how to take care of catfish (this incorporated water temp, filter and pump requirements blah blah blah). He wants a catfish because he is obsessed with River Monsters and the Gooch catfish in India. We are not getting a catfish or a tropical aquarium. We have a perfectly good FREE Minnow type fish called Todd that was gifted to us (complete with tank and pump) just yesterday. Pet fish – check.
This was followed by the everlasting persistent request to move the aforementioned fish tank to the office by his laptop. I wasn’t getting to this fast enough and I was nagged about this relentlessly. The final round of the day was about getting a fishing rod down from the roof of the garage so he could play with it. Again, the nagging this child can inflict is without equal. God sure must love this little try-er.

The point of me even publishing this {I wasn’t going to, it was cathartic enough just to write it} is that today I got the damn fishing rod down from the roof of the garage, I found some hardy pliers and clipped the hook off the tackle, we found a suitable grab-nabber type toy and I tied this onto the sinker.  Ethan had his rod.  He was so happy, grateful and really just plain old dee-lighted to be catching giant catfish in the front yard.

I wondered why this was too hard for me to do on Sunday?  Why I hadn’t given him the 15 minutes it took to get the rod set-up?  Mama guilt.

Ethan played happily with his rod for at least an hour, how rad is my kid, I thought.  He could have been inside watching tv, playing on the computer or his iPod.  He could have been throwing a tantrum.  Oh snap, HE IS THROWING A TANTRUM.

A massive birds nest had snarled his line and oh god the world was ending.  And that was the end of fishing on the front lawn.

I knew there was a reason why I didn’t get that fishing line down on Sunday.

Front_lawn_fishing

Front_lawn_fishing

The Snapper Haul

Dave and E went fishing with Mikey and Gemma today and came home with a bin FULL of big fish.

Ethan reeled in his biggest fish yet, an impressive 8 pound snapper – hooked and brought to the boat all by himself, I think today was the best day of his life!  He caught 3 keepers (all snapper) and one jack mackerel that was used as live bait.

Oddly enough he was most impressed with Daddy’s Kahawai and wouldn’t put the fish down, we were surprised that he actually let Daddy and Grandad fillet it!

The Second to Last Day

Jobs are for suckers and I feel like this job of mine has got in the way during these first holidays since I have been employed and also the LAST holidays with Ethan as a pre-schooler.  He has had a great time though, he has enjoyed sleepovers at his Nana’s, playdates, a birthday party, a theatre trip to see Jack & the Beanstalk and I have tried to treat him to a couple of special days this Wednesday and Thursday.

Yesterday we went to the Auckland Fish Market.  Why you ask?  Ethan is obsessed with fish, has been since he was 18 months old, it NEVER gets old for him.  Looking at dead fish on ice is just about the most amazing thing he could ever do, especially as you can even TOUCH THEM if you so desire, ‘go ahead’ I say, ‘no-ones going to care just don’t drop them because we can’t afford to pay for that ‘spensive snapper you’re fondling over there’.

After the excitement of the octopus post-mortem and the live eel tank we headed to the Auckland Museum for The Dangerous Museum for Boys and The Daring Museum for Girls activity hunt.  E is now the perfect age for this sort of activity, it was so much fun working our way through the activity book, finding the 6 most dangerous bugs in the museum, identifying the weapons and cracking the secret codes. 

Today, I thought about what he would desperately LOVE to do, checked the tides, made some dough balls and we went fishing.  Or more accurately, we went casting, or went and dropped our line, or we practised what we should do in case we were faced with the possibility of catching fish.  Ethan didn’t care that he had nothing to show for three hours of little boy bliss, casting again and again, re-baiting his hook lovingly with the balls of dough he helped me roll out and narrating the whole experience with the skill and verbose lexicon of a well practised fisho.

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Dough Ball Recipe

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Look at those things!  I would totally want to eat them up if I were a fish!  Best dough ball recipe yet and the nice thing was their texture, they stayed on the hook beautifully and weren’t sticky.

2 c. boiling water
1 c. white flour
1 c. cornmeal
1/2 c. sugar

Then flavoring is optional: vanilla for carp, rum for catfish, Velveeta cheese for trout, yeah I skipped the flavouring because at best we were hoping for a sprat!

Sourced from www.cooks.com

After I was totally cold and out of Coke Zero we headed home for a quick lunch before we went to the movies and saw UP.

Seriously, this is THE BEST animated film I have ever seen.  It was hilarious and every character was so real and endearing.  Amazing, amazing, amazing.  Ethan loved it, I have never seen him so totally on par with a movie, he laughed throughout the whole thing, asked questions and talked about what was going on, it was well worth the $22.   5/5