The Old Desert Island Piece

Over summer this year one of my classes was a 2nd year writing paper which was a lovely escape from from the fanantically exacting bean-counting papers I normally have to take. I got an A in the paper and thought I would share some of the writing, this one was edited by Tara, who loves my liberal punctuation.

Paradise Island January 10th, 2009

When you are a tad obsessive-compulsive, trying to wade through the massive amount of things you ‘might’ need on a deserted island is an arduous task. I could not trust myself to settle on only four things so I asked my husband (who could probably write a very funny book about my particular flavor of crazy) what he considered were the four essential items I would hope to have with me on a deserted island. I swear the man didn’t blink an eye, didn’t even pause for a second before he verbally threw the list at me and continued playing his ukulele.
Chocolate, laptop, camera, and bourbon. That’s what the man said. This might be the most honest list that has ever been compiled on the subject of theoretical deserted island strandings! I mean who would admit to those four things of their own volition? I imagine there will be a few family photo albums thrown in on some lists, maybe a couple of cats, a GHD hair iron or three. Not this girl, I apparently need a camera to document the progression of my island tan and some bourbon to help me forget that I don’t have coke and ice to go with it. I love you too, husband.
I’m so glad Dave put chocolate on the list. I mean, chocolate and I – we’s like peas ‘n carrots. After the initial stranding, I would definitely be able to regroup and take a nap in the warm sun safe in the knowledge that the little teepee I erected out of my laptop, camera, and bourbon supply were shading my chocolate stash from the sun. Chocolate can make anything bearable, even potty training. It is a tried and true stress reliever wrapped in purple foil. I love you Cadbury.
#2 on the list; laptop. Even if the unimaginable occurred and there was no wireless hotspot on the deserted island :::::gasp!:::: I would still be able to wile away the hours writing blogs filled with witty anecdotes about island strandings and tips on chocolate preservation. These would have to be published at a later date of course, perhaps when I found an island with an internet café or some other such convenience. There would also be my Diner Dash game to keep me amused, people have got to eat even when their laptop owner is stranded in paradise, come on!
I also love you Dell laptop, for your amazing ability to survive that terrible sinking boat situation. Your simple plastic case is obviously much hardier than one might first assume. Amazing.
My trusty Canon would pair up with indestructible-Dell and allow me to fully document my holiday / stranding. I would probably discover a couple of previously unknown species and later bankroll my future by selling my amazing wildlife shots to National Geographic, the possibilities are endless. My camera may also kick-start my modeling career as, thanks to Survivor, we all know that if you spend enough time stranded on an island you get really skinny (and therefore famous). I can practice my posing and fierceness by using my auto-timer function – Tyra will probably send the rescue team herself once my fierce vibe starts circulating! I will never leave you at home again Canon camera, I love you.
And at the end of each idyllic day on Paradise Island, I would kick back in my cabana, (I’m sure there will be one there left-over from the last stranding incident) sip on my bourbon, and reflect on all of the hardships I have overcome in my quest to be the next great zoologist / blogger / model.
Paradise Island is not a stranding location suited to everyone, but with a bit of grit, luck, determination (and bourbon, I love you Jim Beam!) you too can surround yourself with your favorite things and really make the best of a bad situation, just like I would. How bad could it be in paradise?

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