Throwing in the towel for today

I have paid work to do, deadline tomorrow. I have a half finished painting I would dearly love to finish.  I have washing on the line that has been out too long and will now be damp.  I have chipped nail polish on my fingers and the reason I can’t attend to any of these things is because Nixon is sleeping.  Here in my lap.  Nowhere else.


We have gone back to the horrible land of No Naps.  It makes me mental.  Monday to Friday I can cope with mostly whatever Nix throws at me but when the weekends come along and Dave and E are home from school I feel this huge amount of pressure for everything to be amazing and for us to make the most of each day.  To fill Saturday and Sunday with adventures and yummy food and friends and fun.  But this actually never happens, the baby never sleeps in the morning {or the aftenoon or the evening} which throws everything off track and makes me explode.  And then there is just a big, angry Melissa mess to clean up.
I tried for an hour to get Nixon to sleep in his crib to no avail. He doesn’t cry a whole lot, he is more like a grumbly whinger, but he is losing his voice so he now sounds like Joan Jett, making it even harder for me to let him cry it out even for a little bit.

So we sit and I will give up on all expectations and enjoy this little babe while he can still sleep on my lap.
This is all very hard.



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I live in rural Auckland, New Zealand. Two boys, one big, one not so big and 2 boy dogs belong to me and I them. I love Coca Cola in all of its sugar-less forms and I love you internet. I take way too many pictures of my kids and collect them all here. This is what I am doing when I should be cleaning or cooking or doing other 'useful' things.

9 thoughts on “Throwing in the towel for today”

  1. Bless ya hon. Some days (if not all days) are frickin hard with a newborn and it's OK to just say so! Good on you for your honesty – we all need to hear it I think. Hope and pray tomorrow is a much better day for you xx

  2. Oh Melissa, much love and strength to you. My son was just the same. He would never sleep in the day time. I can totally empathise. It drove me bonkers.
    It is no good hearing that it will soon pass when it feels so overwhelming when you are in it. But it will.
    But much love to you while you walk this road.

  3. Big hugs to you! Poor little guy and poor you! I think we probably all know this feeling… but it will end! That really helped me, knowing that it would sooner or later(!) end. Hope things settle and you get some rest soon x

  4. Nixxon nixxon you are bad lolx 🙂
    salute you Melissa. Same situation is with my sister's son. Appreciate your love and strength. One day you will get the fruit of your hard working….
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