When you’re a Boy-Mum, many habits around the house (need to) change. You realise that vacuuming anytime before 4.30 pm when the children are home is pointless and only results in ‘why do I even bother’ angst. You quickly learn to always check pockets before turning the washing machine on. You discard any expectation that socks will be removed and put in the laundry in any manner other than in balls. Eau de LYNX and preteen/teen boys go together like peas and corn and you should never, ever forget to check the toilet seat before sitting down.
This is a scientific fact.
As the only female in the house there are 4 risk factors that present themselves every time I enter the bathroom;
- A blind entrance with a still-raised toilet seat, means a splash entry no-one wants to make
- A rapid descent without checking for puddles on the seat often spells wet thighs and I HATE THIS SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SCREAM EVERY TIME!!!!!
- Entering the bathroom at pace if someone’s been spraying can lead to a painful slip ‘n slide that should never happen indoors :::::::ewwwww:::::::
- Boy-Mum, Girl-Mum it doesn’t matter. A stranding is a less than ideal and I’m not sure whether they find it amusing or not but the boys seem to prefer a naked toilet-roll holder over one suitably equipped. I’m straight up calling that laziness!
I’ve been a Boy-Mum and a wife for 12 years now and I’ve managed to implement many awesome habits amongst the Jack Family menfolk. Folding towels in half, then thirds to put away in the linen cupboard is still a work in progress, but I’m hopeful in 2017 we will be triumphant in this area.
Eliminating the three Female Risk Situations described above completely, is also progressing rather slowly. Baby-steps were evident until an actual baby arrived in the house. Nixon’s arrival and progression through toilet training has seen standards lowered across the board, and further evidence to support my assertion: toilet domination is a numbers game and a war I’m struggling to win. Quite frankly I’m outnumbered and undergunned. Your support and sympathy would be very much welcomed in the comments below ::::::::sobs:::::::
Last week did allow me a toilet-related giggle or two however. We had a tradie at home doing some building work. He started early in the morning, as is good practice, but he must have left home before he finished his ‘morning business’. I popped out to drop Nix at kindy and he took this very small window of opportunity with gusto and acquainted himself with our bathroom.
First and foremost, I have absolutely no problem with this. Nature calls of course, what else can you do? The situation was apparent when I returned home minutes later having forgotten Nixon’s bike and a very, very embarrassed builder rushed past me with cheeks ablaze as I ran smack into a toilet ‘smell’ that literally left me reeling! I wasn’t going to put the man through any more embarrassment but I totally wanted to slip him a bottle of V.I.Poo and kindly suggest that a smart tradie never leaves home without it lol.
All you need to know is that Airwick V.I.Poo is a genius pre-poo toilet spray that creates a layer trapping odors under the surface before they escape – IT WORKS PEOPLE! And it’s available at your supermarket : )
One less obstacle between me and a state of bathroom bliss……………….that’s never going to happen in my house fyi!