Writers Workshop

Share the joy

The Prompts:

1.) Tell us about a “dirt cheap” you’ve taken this summer.

2.) When I grow up I want to be like…

3.) Describe a difficult moment that you survived.

4.) List 5 things you like to do while camping…or 5 places you’d like to go.

5.) What are you paranoid about?

Well, it’s not summer so #1 is out, I just plain do not want to grow up so I can’t even entertain #2.

3.  Describe a difficult moment that you survived.  OK let’s tackle this guy. 

The first situation that springs to mind is Ethan’s Christening.  I don’t even know if that’s what it was called, maybe his dedication or something?  Obviously I am not much of a ‘force religion on your child’ type-person.  We were in the south, staying with Dave’s family for the final month before we moved permanently to New Zealand.  There was this ridiculous drama surrounding the whole thing, certain family members had not spoken to us for 3 of the 4 weeks because we weren’t shelling out money to their children left and right (cause we are filthy rich right?) so tension was running high.  Add to this, it was Mothers Day and I was being forced to go to a Baptist church and do something I felt quite strongly against.  It was a ill planned joke in the church.  On a day when a number of very young children were ‘booked in’ for this procedure, the pastor decided to make the kids wait til the end of the service.  By wait, I mean a couple of hours.  Can you imagine?  So when it’s finally the time to address the issue of the screaming children and their destiny with Jesus we line up in front of the congregation.  It’s very quiet, everyone is listening to the pastors inroduction of each little family.  Ethan is pissed and wallops me across the face with this satisfying slap that was totally worthy of a Sopranos sound bite.  That’s how The Jack family met the southern baptists.

To amplify my mothers day misery, it was a Sunday.  In Georgia.  Do you know what that means?  NO LIQOUR SALES.  I was unable to drown my sorrows.  So I did what any self-respecting, miserable wife would do – I sent my husband and my best friend to Florida to buy beer.   Happy mothers day!