Dearest Doggy-mama

Prompt #1 From Mama Kat this week is “Your pet wants to guest post on your blog”.  Sweet, I knew that Holy Shi Tzu has been biting his tongue for a while now, lets see what he’s got to say for himself;

Dear Mama

I think it’s time to clear the air.  You see I’m picking up these strange vibes in the house AND THEY ARE ALL COMING FROM YOU.

1. You’re getting a little pushy and kicky in bed.  I know you are cold all the time so I try and get as far up in your grill each night to keep you warm.  I lay on your legs and pin you down so you won’t roll over into that cold spot, this way we all stay happy.  I feel like I am giving it 100% here, I AM A GIVER WOMAN,  but I’m not getting much back aside from being pushed off at 3am (though I’m sure this is accidental – just be a bit more careful ok?).
2. Lets talk about the couch.  I’m pretty sure its my couch.  It’s brown, like me, has animal skin on it, like me and all the pillows on it are the same size as ME.  So…..when you shove me aside like I’m NOTHING, well this hurts, just remember how much you paid for me alright?
3. Please also stop demeaning me by talking about my teeth in front of company.  They may be slightly buck, but if I was perfect how would all the other dogs in the world feel?  It’s hard enough for my friends having to live in the shadow of such a beauteous Shi Tzu, imagine if my teeth were straight!
4. Please don’t let Dave Jack cut my hair again, EVER.
5. Please trim my mullet so I can show off my studded collar to the Big Dogs, they know who’s boss but there is nothing like a little visual reminder of how tough I am.

That should do it for now, if you can work on those things in the New Year we’ll see about all those muddy footprints in the house, mmmmkay?

Love

Capt. Lou Albano

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