I have paid work to do, deadline tomorrow. I have a half finished painting I would dearly love to finish. I have washing on the line that has been out too long and will now be damp. I have chipped nail polish on my fingers and the reason I can’t attend to any of these things is because Nixon is sleeping. Here in my lap. Nowhere else.
We have gone back to the horrible land of No Naps. It makes me mental. Monday to Friday I can cope with mostly whatever Nix throws at me but when the weekends come along and Dave and E are home from school I feel this huge amount of pressure for everything to be amazing and for us to make the most of each day. To fill Saturday and Sunday with adventures and yummy food and friends and fun. But this actually never happens, the baby never sleeps in the morning {or the aftenoon or the evening} which throws everything off track and makes me explode. And then there is just a big, angry Melissa mess to clean up.
I tried for an hour to get Nixon to sleep in his crib to no avail. He doesn’t cry a whole lot, he is more like a grumbly whinger, but he is losing his voice so he now sounds like Joan Jett, making it even harder for me to let him cry it out even for a little bit.
So we sit and I will give up on all expectations and enjoy this little babe while he can still sleep on my lap.
This is all very hard.
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