So the clever little marketers at Countdown timed their $1 delivery promotion just perfectly, reeling the mummy’s in with a little self-indulgence before before their annual day of appreciation and bacon for breakfast.  “No grocery shopping for me!” I fist pumped as I settled in front of the Mac with my microwave eggs to click my groceries into my virtual trolley.  It was fun and it got even more funner {dont even go there grammar nazis mmmkay?} at 5.30pm when the fucking dogs went mental at the delivery man’s knock on the door.

My groceries had arrived.

IT WAS SENSATIONAL.  It was like Christmas with way too many shopping bags with too few things in each, as I rediscovered all the items I had ordered this morning.  Everything was there, even some random items still in my online cart from 3 years ago when I was thinking of ordering online but chickened out at the luxury of it (shoulder bacon wtf?).  So yeah we have an bacon buffet going on over here right now, bring your butties and lets fry up, you guys have the shoulder bacon, I got the streaky.

Also, there was free stuff.  A whole loaf of Freya’s bread, a Lemon Lime and Bitters, two packs of soup and two different samples of beauty products.  I freaking LOVE free stuff!

But, as with any happy tale, there is always a twist, and trust me , I never saw this one coming and it requires all caps.  SOMEONE (PROBABLY A MAN) HAS INVENTED 500ml BOTTLES OF WINE AND YOU CAN’T TELL THEY ARE SMALLER BECAUSE THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN!

I know.  This is bad news.  Shopping for wine online now requires you to read the description rather then sort by price (Low to High) and select the second cheapest.  Fark.

Yes, yes those are heart patterned fleecy bed socks.  My husband’s in India and the only people here to talk to are a crazy 10 month old and a 9 year old who is equally mental and walks around rapping about gigannaires.  It’s a slippery slope people.

Be safe on the internet.