As a New Zealand women, I’ve grown up with the notion that much of my sense of self (and sometimes even self-worth!), is intrinsically associated with my appearance and how others, or more importantly, how I feel about my appearance at any given point in …
As the junior club rugby season wound to a close here in Auckland last week, I was privileged enough to spend a morning with some ecstatic Kiwi kids and their idol, All Blacks Captain and Swisse Ambassador, Keiran Read. Verran Primary school played host to …
Like many Mum’s I can often catch myself discussing the very different natures of my two boys. Polar opposites, chalk and cheese………..you name it I’ve said it. Their uniqueness translates across every moment of our day from Nixon’s need for control over what he’s wearing, to Ethan’s general compliance and respect for authority. Everything one boy is, the other isn’t.
This can make family time quite a struggle as deciding on mutually agreeable activities that cater to a 4-year-old, an almost 13-year-old and two parents, can be an exercise in diplomacy akin to USA v North Korea negotiations.
Ethan just craves information. He has a voracious appetite for visual media and will essentially watch anything at any time. Great content can be rewatched over and over if it’s of particular interest – I can’t count how many times we’ve all seen Walking with Dinosaurs, The Blue Planet or Changing Seas. What’s great about Ethan’s viewing habits is that despite his faves, he’s always keen to branch out and discover new shows, docos and movies. His attitude is definitely ‘The More the Merrier!”
Nixon, on the other hand, hates change. He has around 5 shows he likes to watch over and o v e r again on Netflix; Wild Kratts, My Big Friend, Justin Time, Oscar’s Oasis and Mouk. That’s all we’re allowed to work with. Settling in for some couch time and snuggles with my little guy can be a tad painful. Did I mention he has an aversion to movies? Asking Nix to watch a full-length feature is like asking an 11-year-old boy to pick just one ice-cream flavour to eat for the rest of his life. My four-year-old has commitment issues obviously, a movie is just waaayyy to long to be a viable entertainment option – at least in his mind lol.
What to do, what to do?………………
Honestly, when it’s time for a group consensus, sometimes the only way to reach one in my family is to ignore the ‘consensus’ part, or even the very notion that I was hoping for some family time.
Mum’s and Dad’s everywhere know that the sure-fire way to get your children’s attention is to sit down on the couch and at the very least create an illusion of relaxation. They’ll come running within minutes and be all up in your business. The secret to introducing a new show, movie or genre is simply this – have it playing before they realise what’s going on. Set the stage for Family Movie Night or a rainy arvo snuggling on the couch without the public service announcement, “Kids we’re going to watch something new!”.
Try it, it works.
So far I’ve successfully introduced Nixon to Puss in Book (which is super-fun as you can control the action), he’s been snookered into watching The Land Before Time (a beautiful dinosaur movie I remember seeing in the theatre with my little brother) and the Netflix Original, Troll Hunters has been accepted as the new go-to by both boys if they’re in that (very) rare, couch-cohabitation mood which all parents dream off.
Don’t settle for watching the same shows guys, just employ your grown-up smarts, get creative and discover some new content to enjoy with your family next time the couch is calling.
PS, this also works on your significant other. Dave wasn’t convinced my new obsession, Ozark, was for him, but he walked in after I’d already begun an episode and was very quickly converted!
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No-one’s got time for endless hours of food prep – at least no one I know. Or maybe just me. Either way………saving time in the kitchen allows much more time for other enjoyable pursuits, such as leaving said kitchen and venturing out to eat food …
I’m addicted to my hair dryer.
And my hair straightener.
And not looking just like “I woke up like this’.
I don’t know exactly what my hair would look like if I didn’t see my hairdresser every 8 weeks to colour it.
My hair, quite simply isn’t ‘me’.
Age has taught me how to appreciate some wrinkles – I think of them as my happy lines, it has taught me how to say ‘No, I really can’t do that right now, I need to stay home with my kids’, and be entirely comfortable with that statement. I rarely experience fomo or jealousy, I understand the importance of always being sincerely nice, even when I don’t want to be and as a (mostly!) fully-functioning adult, I can cook, work, spend and save in some semblance of responsible order.
I really should be able to leave the house with my hair in its natural state.
I scrolled through my Instagram profile and as I suspected there are no shots of me without straightened hair. Not. One. On a sub-par hair day I simply wear a cap, even in winter. I’m 37 years old and don’t know how to wear my hair so I look like myself.
That’s kinda sad right?
My hair today is all cowlicks and volume, there’s lots of it and not one strand is straight. My waves go in all directions, without rhyme or reason, which is why I have always struggled to style it in a way I’m comfortable with. I’ve thought about this a lot; how it is that, despite seeing more hairdressers than I can count and spending more money than I care to remember on my frizzy tresses, I’ve never left a salon loving my hair. I mean, sure, I walk out the door loving how the stylists have made my hair look……………….but that’s an entirely different thing.
Last week as part of the Dove Love Your Hair campaign, I met with a new hair stylist for the first time. She had no preconceptions about my hair or about how I usually wear it. She looked at it, she washed it and she naturally styled it, following its own (unruly) direction.
And I LOVED how it looked.
How it felt.
How it made me feel.
It was the fastest, but most meaningful hair appointment I’d ever had in my life. Without projecting all of my standard, hair-hate onto yet another stylist (“it’s too frizzy, boofy, messy, unpolished”), I had allowed her the opportunity to respect my natural waves and run with it. Something I’d never attempted to do before.
Ironically, wearing my hair naturally would cut styling time, reduce damage and require less product than my regular dry and iron routine – which I can’t be bothered doing most days anyway, hence the hat.
How do I feel now?
Liberated. Seriously.
It may seem a little melodramatic, after all, we are only talking about HAIR, but, over the years I’d constructed a little ‘curated’ template of how my hair should look and feel ie straight, shiny, and contained! What I learnt was how to style my hair in a way that’s quick, totally doable at home and which celebrates my quirky waves in a way which makes me feel amazing. I’m finally ready, after 37 years, to wear my hair naturally, with confidence and love my hair.
This awesome opportunity was made possible for me thanks to Dove and their fab #LoveYourHair campaign.
My favourite household chore (if I’m going to say that I actually have a favourite chore!) is definitely laundry. I really don’t mind rinsing out muddy rugby gear, sorting washing, hanging it out, getting it in. In fact, the only step in the process that I don’t …
Week one, Term 3. Uniforms, PE gear, homework, bus money, making lunches…………..it’s THAT time again! Because we’re all about keeping it real, it’s totally ok to admit that you’re already tired of packing the lunch-boxes after just one week back at school. My bet is …
The first Monday back to school after the holidays has come and gone and I’m reflecting a little on what we did, and didn’t do over the past two weeks.
Nix was sick for 10 days prior to the holidays so we were all out of whack after that and to be honest, the constant rain of the first week combined with both boys at home left me feeling less-than optimistic that we could steer the holiday ship in the right direction.
I had surprised myself (and Ethan!) with a teeny bit of forward-planning that saw E enrolled in a 2-day basketball camp each week. He was stoked. He was active, playing sport, socialising with other kids out of the house, learning and progressing and not sitting in front of a device, which is every parent’s nightmare right?
Right?
Ethan is a 12.5-year-old, hormone fuelled, sports-mad, go-go-go kid that desperately needed a break these holidays. 2 days each week of organized activity was all he needed as he recovered from another term that involved school days stretching from 7am-4.15, a basketball game, basketball training, two rugby practices and a rugby game each week. As far as I was concerned, some screen time over the holidays was not going to cause him any irreparable damage. I may have even encouraged a little bit of couch time if I’m honest. I needed to give my kid a break and give myself a break from the ‘Mum guilt’ we are supposed to feel if we actively permit our children to relax by using their devices.
I’ve kissed that shit goodbye.
Our two boys are happy, healthy and active members of their respective sports-teams. Motivation to participate, get moving and get outside is rife in our household – maybe somewhat lacking in my department right now but we’re not talking about ME lol! As such, removing the negative shade I was throwing at Ethan every time he picked up his phone or iPad did not propel him into a square-eyed bender, all it did was simply improve communication between us and eliminate MUCH frustrated sighing and eye-rolling.
So, I gave my big boy a break. He played some xBox, watched some Netflix, did whatever it is he does on his phone and when he wasn’t at basketball camp we had a pretty harmonious school holiday.
Family activities aren’t always easy with an 8.5 year age gap between the boys, an impulsive, almost-made-it-to-the-ticket-counter movie visit didn’t work out as E was desperate to go, yet the thought of sitting in a loud, dark cinema immediately melted Nix into a puddle of tears. In the middle of the mall. Cue family breakdown and that terrible situation where you are torn between wanting to make both of your children happy and the inability to do so simultaneously ALL of the time.
The boys needed some time apart so Dave took Ethan and they headed off into the bush for a big walk and Nix and I collected rocks, dirt, leaves and sticks and headed down to the river to throw all the rocks, dirt, leaves and sticks into it.
Later that day the boys got their movie fix, but together-apart. By that I mean, Nixon watched Charlotte’s Web on the Netflix app on our TV while Ethan snuggled with him on the couch, watching Okja (watch this Netflix Original guys! It’s freaking amazing, topical and incredibly relevant) on his iPad with headphones.
Peace was restored and with zero guilt factor from me.
How did your school holidays play out guys? Did you give your kids a break and let them self-regulate their device usage or did you keep them on a schedule?
And, this question is pretty important, did you give yourself a break over the holidays? Check out the image below for some innovative ways mums are managing to sneak in some ‘ME Time’ with their faves on Netflix – my new fave is Ozark, I’m calling it right here, this is the new Breaking Bad!
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